Q is Quite a Quandry

There were two "swear" words that came up when I was looking for a 'Q' post for The ABC's of Swearing, 'Queer' and 'Queef'. Don't even get me started on the use of 'queer' in a derogatory sense. Did you read my Lipstick Lesbian post? I'm not queer myself (insert Farmer Joe), but I think the people who are are pretty damn cool! I hope I am around when being queer is the new cool and being plain ol' straight is just old news.

Since the quantity of 'Q' words queried was barely quantifiable, I quickly chose 'queef' to discuss here with you. I quibbled with myself over quoting Urban Dictionary on this quest to properly qualify 'queef', but after queueing up words like 'queefcicle', 'queefburger', and 'Queef Cordon Bleu' I quashed that idea because even I was queasy. If a quack like me who has no qualms with "vulgar" language questions the use of quotations, it's safe to say I should quit while I'm ahead.

Although, of all the queef-esque words I came across, I do have to say that 'queefazoid' is my favourite!

Penises Can Be Quite Poetic

If you have been following along with me on The ABC's of Swearing throughout the month of May you'll be well aware of the fact that I have a teeny tiny gigantically enormous problem with aspects of the male and female anatomy (namely the sex organs) being deemed "vulgar".

Today's letter is 'P' and there are so many so called "offensive" words that begin with this innocent letter that I just don't know where to start. Penis, Pussy, Prick, and my favourite...Poonanny! Who wouldn't want to call a vagina a poonanny? It's such a fun word to say: poonanny, poonanny, poonanny (fun, right?!).

One of the reasons I fell in love with English literature studies (I wrote all about it through the A-Z Challenge) is because of the wide range of open-mindedness that I was presented with and in turn able to express. The freedom of words is miraculous and another reason why I don't feel that any of them should be deemed "taboo" for any reason whatsoever. I wrote the following poem for a third year English class that I took quite a few years ago now, but that class and this poem, which I presented with full colour slides to accompany it at the Senior Students' Colloquium in front of my fellow students and professors alike, has stuck with me and made a significant impact on my way of thinking. It's inspired by the genius bpNichol and his poem, "The Vagina".

The Penis

My dad has one. I started out as the twinkle in his eye, shot through his heat-seeking love missile, and ended up a star! - so the story goes.

I used to think having one would be easier. Periodic calls to attention, the odd damp awakening. I could deal with that if it meant I could unzip and pee anywhere, anytime. Oh - the freedom!

Concrete and mystical gods created and worshipped in the image of Captain Winkie

Dickens, Milton, Shakespeare. I guess they each had one. I guess that's why it's call the canon. The power of the Pen-is in the literary world.

Once upon a time a prick name Chode and a cock called Schlong, took a ride on the Baloney Pony. For lunch they ordered Beef Bayonet and Pork Sword with a side of Weiner. To be continued...

Jimmy, Johnson, Willy, Peter. I knew one of each. They were and likely still are - dicks!

With the crumble of concrete and incurable misfire, now I'm glad I don't have one. I'm quite content sitting and from time to time borrowing one just for fun.

This is a collage of the images I used on the slide show when I presented "The Penis". As you can see, the other side of the collage presents vagina images and their associated poem, but I'll leave "Vaginas" for V day.

Celebrate the Small Things - May 17

This is my first post in the Celebrate the Small Things blog hop hosted over at Scribblings of an Aspiring Author. As the title suggests, this is supposed to be about reflecting back on the little things that made you smile or that you are especially thankful for that have occurred throughout the week. Well, you see, I've had one heck of a good week so a lot of the things I am going to mention here aren't really small, per say.

On Monday, my fiance and I financed a 2013 Toyota Tacoma SR5 Limited Edition. It's a double cab with heated leather seats, touch screen controls, and is blue tooth equipped. I love it!

On Thursday, I received a letter informing me that I was the recipient of the Silver Medal in English which would be awarded during Convocation. The Silver Medal is awarded to the most outstanding graduating student in each department as chosen by the faculty department members. They chose me! I always dreamed of receiving this honour, but never thought I would ever see my name associated with it. I am ecstatic!

On Friday, today, I received an email informing me that I was successful in my application to the Social Science and Humanities Research Council (SSHRC) for a $17,500 CAD Joseph-Armand Bombardier CGS Master's Scholarship. I put myself through the brutal application process in November and have been playing the waiting game every since. I am getting a freaking SSHRC a.k.a I'm an academic superstar!

Those are my three big reasons to celebrate!

In addition to those I am especially thankful for my dear friend who brought flowers to my office on Wednesday to thank me for helping her pull off a huge fundraising gala two weeks ago and for ensuring her pre-wedding social went off smoothly the week before that. I do these things because I love her; there is no act of appreciation required, but the flowers were a lovely surprise none-the-less.

My Mom drove the two and a half hours from her home to mine to celebrate with me on Thursday. Of all of the things in my life, I am most thankful to have a mother like mine. She is that mother in the corner of every room I am in holding up a sign that reads, "That's my daughter! Go Brandy!" I'm kidding of course; there is never physically a sign, but the look on her face or the tone of her voice exudes a love and support that never falters. 

When I found out about the Silver Medal on Thursday, another one of my beautiful friends took the time to remind me of something I often forget. I told her that I never imagined I would ever be presented with an honour like the Silver Medal and her response was, "It still surprises me that you don't realise you are amazing."

I've accomplished a lot of pretty fantastic things in my life, but I stand behind the fact that I could never have done any of it without the impeccable support I receive from the people I am surrounded by. Now that's something to celebrate!

Oh My, The Female Orgasm!

I'm sharing a little clip from the Vagina Monologues with you again because "The Moaner" is the best example of the multiplicity that is involved with female orgasms that I have ever seen. That and one of my best girlfriends performed this role once.

The whole video is orgasmic, but if you don't want to watch the full ten minutes, just watch the last minute and a half. 7:30 is where the real fun starts!

Name That Sack...

Here on The ABC's of Swearing we've made it over the half way hump. We are on letter 'N' a.k.a. letter fourteen. Perhaps by the end of this post, you'll be able to guess what my "derogatory" word-that-begins-with-'N' will be.

I decided, just for shits and giggles, that I would look up different types of sacks for this post.

First, the definition of sack: a bag, especially a large one for carrying or storing goods.

There are money sacks (which I would very much enjoy being in possession of if anyone would like to give me one...a full one, of course):

There are stuff sacks (a type of drawstring bag usually used for storing camping equipment like sleeping bags):

There are gunny sacks (an inexpensive bag made of burlap used to transport grain or potatoes, or for having sack races and inevitably falling flat on one's face):

Now for the last type of sack that is apparently considered vulgar and inappropriate. It's human anatomy, people, why is it taboo to talk about?! - NUT SACK:

O, come on, you didn't actually thing I was going to post a photo of a scrotum on my blog did you?

LIEBSTER AWARD #2

Betty over at Etchings From My Soul And Spirit wondered across my blog and realising that, yes, I have very few followers, awarded me with a lovely Liebster!

I was pretty pumped when I received my first Liebster and since then I've received two Very Inspiring Blogger Awards (one, two), a Sunshine Award, and a Zompocalypse Award. They're all lovely, but they are a lot of work when you are new to the blog world. I am glad that this one only asks for a minimum of 5 nominees (the last one asked for 11).

I'm going to nominate random blogs this time around, blogs I've never visited before. They're all coming from the Blog Blitz being hosted over at Cruising Altitude 2.0 that I recently joined up to participate in. I'm making up nominee criteria as I go along here (just to make this more interesting for myself) and so have decided that they also must have written a blog post in the last week to qualify for this particular Liebster.

Without further adieu, here are my nominees:
1. Elise from Gladiator's Pen: This blog is about the battle our muse does in the arena, conquering the villainous plot ninjas to reach the last word of the last page.
2. Mark from Left and Write: Adventures in the Blogosphere!
3. Connie from A Merry Heart: A Merry Heart Doeth Good Like a Medicine
4. Jessica from A word or two, about a word: Home of Jessica Peterson, author of The Key to Life.
5. Anne from Is Anyone There?: Thoughts on family and life!

Here are 5 questions for each nominee to answer:
1. If you have published a book (most of these nominees have, some more than one), describe in three words how it felt that first time? If you have not published a book, how do you think it would feel?
2. Have you taken part in Blog Blitz before or is this your first time?
3. Have you ever run a contest/blog hop from your blog?
4. What is your favorite genre to read?
5. Where is your favorite place to write?

Here are my answers to Betty's questions:

1. How do you feel about having less than 200 followers?
Of course I'd love to have more followers, but I only started blogging regularly and participating in blog hops recently. I am confident that 200 will come eventually, but first stop is 100!

2. What is the most complicated thing you have ever had to do?
I'd have to say translate Old English text; that class was brutal (I do appreciate the English language a lot more now though).

3. What is the most out of the ordinary thing that you have ever experienced?
Pretty much everything that happened to me in Botswana over the four months that I was there was out of the ordinary. The two things that really stand out: getting bitten by a young teenage boy who stole my cell phone and being close enough to a bull elephant that I could reach out and touch him.

4. What is it about people that you enjoy the most?
I am quite introverted and will openly admit that I prefer books to people. I enjoy the all too often rare moments of kindness and altruistic behaviour that shines through.

5. What is your greatest contribution to society?
To society? Yikes! I was presented the Excellence in Community Service Award in 2010 by the Board of Governors of my undergraduate university. I guess I would say my relentless commitment to helping others help themselves.

6. Do you consider yourself to be creative?
Yes, when it comes to writing and personalised gift ideas.

7. What is one of your talents?
I have a decent ability to debate pretty much anything with anyone. I can typically find an argument for and against most things.

8. What is one of your aspirations?
I aspire to change the world through education. In the next five years I hope to spend some time teaching in a refugee camp in Kenya.

9. Are you a follower or an independent thinker?
I'm an independent thinker. I'm really smart and I will admit that I have a bit of an ego when it comes to intellect. Don't get me wrong, I'll listen to other people's ideas and give them appropriate consideration, but it is seldom that I prefer someone else's idea to my own.

10. What are the advantages to having less than 200 followers?
I suppose the advantage would be that I have fewer blogs to reciprocate the blog love to. (I'd still love a lot more followers though).

11. Why would you desire to have more followers?
I have a lot to say and want someone to listen. I hope to inspire people and educate them on issues that are near and dear to my heart!

I Made MM's MoFo-in' Zompocalypse Survival Team!

First, MM stands for Marjorie McAtee, Don't Call [Her] Marge. I'm going to refer to her as M from this point forward, well, because today is 'M' Day. She writes this bad ass blog (the one I just linked to back there) and I've been a fan of her writing for quite some time now. In fact, she's pretty much the whole reason why I am and a whole bunch of other kick ass bloggers are doing The ABC's of Swearing during the month of May.

Anyway, I nominated M for a Leibster and then a Very Inspiring Blogger Award which she accepted with a squee of excitement and then proceeded to tell me that these awards were being spread around like fleas on monkey balls and so she would be responding with her own unique award creation rather than following all of the award rules. M's a nonconformist, you see. She's a mother truckin' (what does that phrase even mean?) rebel really, living free and by her own rules. So here's the award:

Cheese 'n' Rice, I made the MoFo-'in Team! A bunch of other super rad bloggers also made the cut and because I want to live free and by my own rules I'm adding Daryl Dixon (Norman Reedus) to our team because his manly musculature makes my mouth water and he's one bad ass mother fucker!

Don't worry, team. Just stay calm and follow Daryl Dixon (Oh, and watch the puddle of drool!)