We're in the home stretch of
The ABC's of Swearing and it seems like most of us who signed up took our
lovely host's advice and did not follow the rules. Wait, there are no rules. Wait, what? I'm confused. What I am trying to say is that very few of us are actually still posting daily and while most of us are still swearing frequently, we aren't really swearing through the alphabet. This little bout of verbal diarrhea leads me to the fact that I did not write a 'T' post yesterday.
You see, yesterday, I very nearly succumbed to the plague. Seriously, how does one little nostril hold so much snot?! Needless to say, I got home from work, inhaled a pizza, and spent the rest of the night in bed playing Candy Crush (don't you dare judge me) and thinking about the fact that I should be writing a post about one of my favorite body parts - tits.
I read this article once, based on what are undoubtedly highly scientific facts gathered from countless hours of quantifiable research, in a
Cosmo magazine (or some reliable source like that) that said that a very high (I don't remember the exact figures, ok?!) percentage of women are attracted to the upper half (as in the tits half) of other women. I have to agree with the experts on this one. While vagina's don't exactly thrill me, I do
appreciate enjoy a nice pair of tits. There have been many times where I have thought how titillating it would be for men to have tits. That would be really weird wouldn't it? Fun, though, right?! Well, maybe it's just me, but T is also for truth and if I can't be honest with all of the strangers in cyber space, who can I be truthful to?
Another truth universally acknowledged (ok, maybe not, but I am a
Jane Austen freak so you have to put up with my references) is that I am a Uke, but not a stupid one like all of the stereotypical jokes indicate: How do you kill a one-armed Ukrainian hanging from a tree? Wave at him. Hardy, har, har - or NOT, fuckers! I can call myself a Uke because I am one. Other Ukes can call me a Uke because they're one. If you're not a Uke, don't even think about calling me a Uke. It's just not cool; that's not how these things work. My Baba once made 1000 dozen perogies for her brother's wedding. Us Ukes, we're kind of hard core like that.
I read this article once, based on what are undoubtedly highly scientific facts gathered from countless hours of quantifiable research, in a Cosmo magazine (or some reliable source like that) that said that a very high (I don't remember the exact figures, ok?!) percentage of women are attracted to the upper half (as in the tits half) of other women. I have to agree with the experts on this one. While vagina's don't exactly thrill me, I do 
