Saturday, May 4, 2013

Dicks and Dialogue with Farmer Joe

At approximately 5:30 a.m. I went through my daily (since Farmer Joe bought fucking chickens) ear plug ritual. I explained that ritual in my Cock-a-doodling and Cunts post. At approximately 7:30 I thought the cock-a-doodling had stopped so I took out the ear plugs. I was wrong. I noticed that Farmer Joe was kind of awake too, so I expressed my annoyance to him.

B: Aw, I thought the stupid thing was done cock-a-doodling.
FJ: O? Nope, there it is. (A loud cock-a-doodle could be heard from outside.)
B: Yep, it's been doing it since 5:30.
FJ: Really? I never heard anything.

Ok, so that little dialogue will be lost on you if you haven't read my Cock-a-doodling and Cunts post or most of the back story really: Assholes and My Engagement Story.

Sometime after that little conversation Farmer Joe tried to tell me that the rooster was just singing 'Sun Do Shine' from Rock-a-doodle.

FJ: You know that move, Rock-a-doodle about the...
B: No, I don't. I hate chickens. I don't watch movies about them.
FJ: O, well he's just sing that song, Sun Do Shine. (Farmer Joe is singing at this point).
B: I think what he's singing is, "I want my fucking head cut off."

That's how much I despise chickens, folks.

Anyway, today is supposed to be brought to you by the letter D in The ABC's of Swearing so let's get to that. Do you have any idea how many words can be made derogatory just by adding the word 'dick' to them?! Entirely too many! Why is 'dick' a swear word anyway. It's a term used to describe male genitalia which makes it derogatory, why?! If you read my C post (this is the third time I've mentioned it, so you really should), you know that I take issue with any word being placed in the 'swear word' category simply because it describes parts of the male or female anatomy. So my point is that 'dick' should not be a damn swear word.

In parting I will leave you with a question - did anyone else not know that dookie is another word for shit?


  1. dung, dukie, dump, dingleberry (when hanging off a doggie bum)...

    1. I only learnt dingleberry recently, apparently it's not just dogs. :) It's illegal to have Roosters in Denmark...chickens only. Can you ring or write your own local authority and complain about the noise, anon :D

  2. Why do you even need a rooster, anyway? Hens will lay regardless. Please don't tell me he's planning on breeding them. Are you sure you want to marry this person?

  3. No words should be considered "bad". All words are just that: Words. Who in the fuck sat down at a conference one day and got to pick and choose which words are bad and which aren't?

    -The Insomniacs Dream

  4. WOW, I did not know about dookie. Shit has always been shit in my world. I am really enjoying this, can you tell? LOL


  5. I just learned the word dookie. Shit or crap is so much better...