Monday, May 27, 2013

Wankers Welcome

For those sheltered souls that do not know what a Wanker is, here's a definition and some fun dialogue from Urban Dictionary.

a British term for "one who masturbates". Commonly used as an insult.

A: You're such a wanker!
B: O gosh; how did you know?

Did you know that May is not only The ABC's of Swearing month, it is also Masturbation Month?!

Ladies, this one is for you:

This whole "masturbation is a shameful act for women to partake in" starts when we're really young if you think about. I present you, first, with non-visual Exhibit A: A little boy discovers his penis in the bathtub, starts playing with it, and says, "look what I found!" The response: "Aw, isn't he adorable!" Now for non-visual Exhibit B: A little girl discovers her vagina in the bathtub, starts touching it, and says, "look what I found!" The response: "Oh hunney, don't touch yourself down there. Good little girls don't do that."

From that point forward, until Aunt Flow comes for her monthly visit, girls are terrified of their vaginas. Women, do you remember the first time you tried to put a tampon in? Point made!

If you don't know how to pleasure yourself how do you expect anyone else to be able to do it? Think about it; I'll wait...

Now go masturbate and join me in the WANKERS 'R' US Club!


  1. Lol! I can't believe I've missed out on wank month! In terms of insults,I prefer 'wank stain' to 'wanker' though. :-)
    Oh, and I almost forgot. I finally got round to posting that award you gave me back in April at Short Story Ideas. Thanks again. :-)

  2. My daughter liked to use her electric toothbrush hehe. I love that about her. When she turns 16, I'm buying her a vibrator and a book on masturbating.

  3. I just love the word "wanker, wanker,wanker..." Even the word is fun.

  4. I've never been afraid of my vagina...

  5. Thank you for that enlightening post!

  6. Where the frigg is X? Im getting a bit xanthipian having to wait y'know! Youre probably off wankin somewhere. Yeesh.

    1. What the heck does xanthipian mean? I googled it and even google doesn't know!

  7. HA! HA! It means cranky... actually I believe it to be fairly sexist in that it may actually refer only to women...what else is new? I just wanted to throw an x in there. Of course X-rated never even occurred to me? duh????

  8. OOOOH I just looked it up it means one who loves chickens...