Friday, May 24, 2013

Truths About Tits & Ukes

We're in the home stretch of The ABC's of Swearing and it seems like most of us who signed up took our lovely host's advice and did not follow the rules. Wait, there are no rules. Wait, what? I'm confused. What I am trying to say is that very few of us are actually still posting daily and while most of us are still swearing frequently, we aren't really swearing through the alphabet. This little bout of verbal diarrhea leads me to the fact that I did not write a 'T' post yesterday.

You see, yesterday, I very nearly succumbed to the plague. Seriously, how does one little nostril hold so much snot?! Needless to say, I got home from work, inhaled a pizza, and spent the rest of the night in bed playing Candy Crush (don't you dare judge me) and thinking about the fact that I should be writing a post about one of my favorite body parts - tits.

I read this article once, based on what are undoubtedly highly scientific facts gathered from countless hours of quantifiable research, in a Cosmo magazine (or some reliable source like that) that said that a very high (I don't remember the exact figures, ok?!) percentage of women are attracted to the upper half (as in the tits half) of other women. I have to agree with the experts on this one. While vagina's don't exactly thrill me, I do appreciate enjoy a nice pair of tits. There have been many times where I have thought how titillating it would be for men to have tits. That would be really weird wouldn't it? Fun, though, right?! Well, maybe it's just me, but T is also for truth and if I can't be honest with all of the strangers in cyber space, who can I be truthful to?

Another truth universally acknowledged (ok, maybe not, but I am a Jane Austen freak so you have to put up with my references) is that I am a Uke, but not a stupid one like all of the stereotypical jokes indicate: How do you kill a one-armed Ukrainian hanging from a tree? Wave at him. Hardy, har, har - or NOT, fuckers! I can call myself a Uke because I am one. Other Ukes can call me a Uke because they're one. If you're not a Uke, don't even think about calling me a Uke. It's just not cool; that's not how these things work. My Baba once made 1000 dozen perogies for her brother's wedding. Us Ukes, we're kind of hard core like that.



12 comments:

  1. Being from the U.S I've never heard the term "Uke" before and would have no clue it was derogatory....see, I learned something here..thanks! :)

    Oh yeah, nothing wrong with a nice 'rack' either :D

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    1. I enjoy this type of comment best! I am happy that you learned something knew from reading my blog (and perhaps enjoyed the photos)!

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  2. Yknow I think I would be an ass girl...Im all for the A half of the T&A. ALso I too had not known "Uke"was derogatory. We yanks are so fucking sheltered.(see what I did there? Put that F-bomb in just for you...your welcome!)

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  3. OH yeah, feel better mucus girl!

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  4. Kudos to you for following the non-rules and posting every day. You rock!

    Posting daily is almost impossible for me not only because I need 48 hours in a day but also because my muse really doesn't feel like it. I'd just be pumping out shit that made no sense (although it doesn't really make a lot of sense now).

    By the way, I saw your link-ups to the Blog Blitz and Celebrate the Small Things. I'm on board too!

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    1. 48 hours in a day...that would be nice! I talked about shit pumps on S day! Ha!

      Glad you signed up for the Blitz and CTST!

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  5. I heart boobs so fucking hard. Vaginas are what keep me from being a full blown lesbian (and the love of cock) . . .But I do find myself checking out other women. I look at boobs and asses.

    -The Insomniacs Dream

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    1. See, the very scientific statistics are right! I check out other women all of the time!

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  6. love peroggies, 1000 dozen, maths is not my strong point does that mean 12000... either way even a thousand is incredible...Questioning sexuality is so normal these days, I think a lot of women love other women's boobs because we appreciate and embrace our own awesomeness and sexuality, but I get a bit tired of all the objectifying, seriously they are just skin and adipose tissue after all :)

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    1. I don't understand why Uke is bad term... probably because in Australia we shorten everything, Italians become 'I tie's' etc... and since moving to Europe I really don't understand why countries change other countries names...Germany call themselves Deutschland, (calling them dooshes might be rude) and here in Danmark, (which the rest of the world spells Denmark or Danmarcio etc... ) it is called Tyskland. It's like me deciding Brandy is too hard so I'm going to call you Booby girl who hates cocks with feathers :)

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    2. Yes, that would be 12000 perogies! It's insane; I know. I suppose Uke is not a bad term when Ukes use it...

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