Voicetrous Vaginas

Today is Sunday. The letter 'V' was supposed to be showcased on Saturday. I didn't post on Saturday, therefore, 'V' will be celebrated today. It's a good thing there are no rules in The ABC's of Swearing.

If you recall, I posted about Poetic Penises for 'P' Day. The poem I wrote there was half of a project I completed for an upper level literature class in university. I fell even more in love with the discipline after taking that class and realising the open-minded, limitless potential of English as an academic field. I presented both "The Penis" and "Vaginas", under the collective title Dispelling the Taboo, at the Senior Students Colloquium the year I wrote them, complete with full colour images in a timed PowerPoint presentation.

"Vaginas" is influenced by Libby Scheier's poetic masterpiece "Penises, 1" and after no further ado, here it is:

Vaginas

They're ugly cuz they're wrinkly.
Embrace wrinkles. They add character!

They're repulsive because they smell & taste like fish.
Fish is good for you. Eat it!

They should remain closed
and untouched
until they are ready to procreate.

WAIT,
just a second.
Why am I referring to the glorious
Velvet Curtains
as "they"?

Cunts
are beautiful flowers
swelling into bloom
with each caress.

Pussies are soft

and cuddly,

but only cum 

when they want to. 

Beavers work diligently,

but still make time

for play.

Muffs

are hot pockets

of silky smooth eroticism 

exploding into perfect bliss.

Punani. Coochi. Na Na.

All unstoppable

Vagina Warriors

unlocking the Boxes

Vajayjays

have been shut up

in for so long.

From the glorious depths

of Spread Eagle

Queen Hoo Ha exclaims

"Vagina Power!"

With that, I leave you with some final words of wisdom from my home girl, Betty White.